Dealing With Appearance
Where Beauty is in the EYE of the Beholder
Where Beauty is in the EYE of the Beholder
Experiencing changes in your appearance — whether from swelling, scarring, eye appearance differences, or temporary healing symptoms — is something many people face after OOKP surgery. How you feel about how you look is a personal part of your journey, and it’s completely valid to have mixed or strong emotions about it.
Changes in appearance can affect confidence, social comfort, self-identity, and relationships. It can take time to adjust and develop new ways to feel comfortable, confident, and at ease with yourself — and you don’t have to do that alone.
This page offers understanding, peer-based experiences, supportive ideas, and opportunities for you to ask questions or explore concerns related to your appearance and confidence after surgery.
It’s common to have emotional responses when your appearance changes — from uncertainty and self-consciousness to sadness, frustration, pride in healing, or gradual acceptance. These feelings can come and go, and they’re often influenced by how others react, your own expectations, and your sense of identity during recovery.
Some people find it helpful to:
talk about how they feel with someone they trust
share experiences with others who understand
give themselves time to adjust emotionally
Talking with peers who’ve experienced similar challenges can help you work through changes in self-image and confidence in a supportive environment. It can also provide practical resolutions to situations you've been concerned about.
Many people find that how they feel about their appearance is connected to how they are seen by others in the world. Things like posture, clothing that feels good on you, or accessories you enjoy can make you feel more in control of your presentation and identity.
You're more than a simple change in appearance — and connecting with your unique strengths, personality, skills, and values can help ground your confidence in what matters most to you. Focusing on who you are rather than how you look strengthens your self-esteem and shifts attention toward your strengths and contributions.
Some members describe this as a journey of rediscovery — becoming comfortable with the full version of themselves after surgery, not just the physical changes. It's not just a point of wearing dark glasses to let others know you're sight impaired, it's about presenting yourself as you wish to be remembered; and if you don't wish to wear dark glasses, then have the confidence to venture into the world, proud to be you.
People may react differently when they see you — some with curiosity, some with understanding, and others with awkwardness. It’s natural to feel uneasy about public attention, unexpected questions, or stares.
There are simple techniques to prepare for and respond to social situations in ways that help you feel in control. For example:
Planning what you want to say about your journey. You may wish to educate others of how you deal with everyday life, or remain private regarding your life skills.
Deciding beforehand how much you want to share, It's your journey, therefore you decide who you wish to tell and how much you're prepared to divulge.
Practising calm responses with someone you trust. Becoming frustrated with people who don't understand, only increases your stress. Therefore, choose who you can trust to speak with, who'll offer the help you require.
Choosing settings where you feel safe and supported. If the situation feels tense, offer the minimum of information to questions. If you feel relaxed with the situation, maybe offer more information. It's your life - its your choice.
These approaches can help you feel more confident when navigating social interactions, and increase your comfort over time.
Feeling confident about your appearance doesn’t have a single definition — it’s personal and evolving. Some people find empowerment through:
Wearing accessories they enjoy, like hats, glasses or scarves
Choosing clothing that feels like them, whether by style or colour
Using items that help them feel centred and comfortable in public
Letting their personality shine through, expressing positive body language and self-expression
You don’t have to hide or change yourself — you get to define what makes you feel comfortable and confident. Once people recognise this, they become more accepting of your look and wish to learn more of your situation.
Remember, changes to how you look don't define your worth or your joy in life. Appearance is just one part of who you are. Many people discover that with time, self-acceptance grows from:
recognising your personal strengths
focusing on relationships that value you
celebrating qualities outside of appearance
learning from experiences and adapting
Peer support often helps with this — hearing real stories from people who’ve found confidence and meaning after visible changes can be reassuring and inspiring. If you need help, simply contact us and we'll be there to stand by you.
Our support service was created to help with every aspect of your OOKP journey. You may have questions like:
“How did others feel about their appearance after surgery?”
“What helps with confidence when I go out in public?”
“How can I explain my experience to others?”
“What emotional support helps with shifting self-identity?”
You can reach out to us to talk about any concerns or questions you have related to appearance, confidence, or social situations. No question is too small or too personal — we're here to listen and support you. To help us direct you to the most appropriate service or peer member, please complete and attach the questionnaire included below to your email and send it to:
📧 Email: ourookpservice@gmail.com
Subject Line: Appearance
We aim to reply within 2–3 working days and will connect you with supportive peer perspectives and resources.
Adjusting to changes in appearance isn't about ignoring real feelings — it’s about honouring your experience, acknowledging emotional reactions, and finding ways to feel grounded in your identity.
Your healing is personal — and building confidence along the way is a meaningful part of that journey. We’re here to help you explore how to feel supported and confident at every stage.
💙 You deserve understanding, connection, and respect — and we’re here for you, every step of the way.
📩 Please complete this short questionnaire and include it within the body of your email or as an attachment, so we can tailor support and connect you with the most helpful peer support.
Full Name:
Preferred Email:
Phone Number (optional):
(e.g., first time seeing yourself after surgery, going out in public, reactions from others)
☐ A lot
☐ Somewhat
☐ Only occasionally
☐ Not much
Please explain your choice below (optional):
(For example: clothing or accessories you like, support from someone you trust, focusing on your strengths, distraction activities)
(e.g., going out, meeting new people, being around friends/family, public spaces)
(e.g., reassurance, coping strategies, shared experiences, social confidence ideas)
(No need to list many — just whatever has felt supportive.)
☐ Email
☐ Phone call
☐ Video call
☐ Small group conversation
☐ Other: (Please explain)
(Optional — anything that helps us understand your experience better.)
We’ll review your responses and reply within 2–3 working days to arrange your personalised support conversation.
💙 Talking about changes in appearance and confidence can feel personal and sensitive — thank you for taking this step. You don’t have to do it alone, and we’re here to help you feel understood and supported.